Upbringing Krisha

On the eve of Krisha’s next birthday, i am recollecting all the wonderful experiences that we gone through, both as parents and as a family.

We were in Zirakpur last year. Initially we were thinking of having a big blast and a huge party in some hotel. However, we decided not to go for that. Instead, we went to a orphanage where we celebrated Krisha’s Bday. More then us, I think it was Krisha who enjoyed the most.

This is the year when she learnt walking.

She truly enjoyed the holi

She has learnt – how to pose for the photographs

She started her play school .

She has started speaking. (Note to myself – need to put up a audio blog) . She speaks many words. Her vocabulary is increasing day by day. Its very different feeling to see her trying so hard in expressing herself. And then there was the scare of all her teeth getting rotten. Thank God that we got a second opinion. Otherwise doctor would surely had had her way to operate on her.

She already has a best friend.

Its her Birthday again. I wont be with her. And I am pretty sad about that. still.

I cant wait to see what all changes she would go through in the coming year.

Krish – Wish you many many happy returns of the day.

Luv you dear :).

krisha's gonna be two in few days....

Just yesterday i was talking to krisha ki in a few days her nani & nanu are coming to stay with us.....

Authoritarian

Parents who are authoritarian believe in structure. While not being abusive, they set high standards of behavior for their children and require obedience. Adherents to this parenting style get little input from their children when making decisions. This style may be good for children with behavioural or conduct disorders because they need structure and authority. However, if this is not the case, the child of authoritarian parents will often have low self-esteem and rely more often on the voice of authority.

Permissive

While not being neglectful or careless, permissive parents let their children make many decisions. They use this parenting style to encourage creativity and spontaneity in their children. These parents use reasoning rather than authority when setting limits. This is a good parenting style for withdrawn children, but not for rebellious or aggressive children. This method can sometimes result in immature behaviour and an inability to control impulses.

Authoritative

The authoritative style of parenting is often seen as the best. These parents are not particularly firm or permissive. They also will set high standards for their children but leave some of the decision-making up to each child. These parents reason with and listen to their children but don't hesitate to insist on certain behaviors and limits. This parenting style works well with middle-of-the-road children who are neither shy nor aggressive. It helps children develop a sense of independence and self-sufficiency.

What are we? May be Authoritative. Or may be Permissive.

I guess the art lies in getting the balance in different types at different times.

Isn't that so true.

Few examples to support this :

1. If you do not want your kids to swear, do not swear in front of them. How else you can explain to them that it is bad?
2. If you want to them to watch less TV, decreased your TV time. Otherwise, how would you explain it to them?
3. If you want to cultivate the habit of exercise in your kids - start doing it yourself.
4. If you do not want your kids to shout, stop shouting yourself.
5. If you do not want them to walk barefoot (or other way round), do it yourself.

Most of the kids have excellent observation power. In fact they learn by observing. First few years are very important. Sometimes you would say that - what does she know, she is a kid. She may not understand, but she has observed it and stored in her mind. Later she may connect this image with something else she sees. That may be good or bad. you can not control.

I remember whenever we used to have Vacations (reason never mattered). It used to be such an exciting time.

So it happens, Krisha’s first ever school holidays are announced. It was little different wit hour angel, who actually takes her bag, at midnight, and will say - “school”.

Anyways, it turns out that Suchita is more happy having her at school ( 2 hrs everyday), as compared to having her at home full time.

It was till we went to Chandigarh. Everything turned out to be nice after that.

Krisha in her new Diwali Dress

Diwali done by Suchita and Ritu

This is indeed funny. I had to write about it.
Krisha will spill the milk. Ask her who did it? “Mila”.
Water on Bed. Who did it? Mila
Pen markers on bedsheet. Who did it? Mila.
Essence is – Mila comes quietly, does the naughty stuff and goes back :). Krisha never does anything wrong.
Who is mila? Her name is Mili (Krisha Pronounce it as Mila). Mili is very cute kid and Krisha’s bestest friend. Its just that for everything that Krisha does, she relates it to Mili.

I have been repeatedly told by everyone – Don't give any “saja” (punishment) to Krisha. Use maaro mat.

I agree with the second part. We should never give corporeal punishment to our kids. However, punishment has to be there. Also, both the parents can not be the devils at the same time. One person has to act tough and other person has control if things go out of hand. Child should not feel that he/she doesnt have anyone to bank upon.

Given that, I believe it is necessary to imbibe the feeling of good and bad in the kids from very early on. Kids will always be kids. Its their birth right to do naughty stuff. They will also cause some damage while doing that. This is all part of learning curve. Honestly, I would be more worried if Krisha doesn't do these things instead if she does. However, she should know herself if she knows she has done something which is not right. She also understands when she gets a scolding. If we scold her just like that (shout etc), she starts laughing :).

Once she has has done something like that, she comes to us and gives enough indication that something is wrong. Then the process of explanation starts. its a lengthy process; sometimes we do get frustrated. Still, i feel the result are showing up slowly.

Many a times I also indulge is small cute naughty activities. Its heartening to see her remember small small things. She observes and learns.

Who is devil and who is an Angel amongst me and Suchi? Probably both of us are both. It is required.

now a days its fun for her to go to school.......

well, this was the first time when krisha saw navratri festival of mumbai....

Her name is milee. She lives in the flat below our flat. She is about 2.5 years old.

Some of the things they do together

• Jumping
• Shouting
• Running
• Cycling (Milee cycles and Krisha runs along)
• Eating (sometimes)

... favorites are :

• Any program with animals
• Any program with music
• to a certain extent, "Dil Mil gaye". Wheneve the signature tune plays, she turns her head. (May be because Suchita was/is a lover of this program and used to watch it all throughout her pregnancy).
• ice cream
• Cookies
• chocolates (mot much)

... not so favorite

• Loud beats/music (mostly). e.g during ganpati visarjan, when people play the dhol, she doent like
• milk

She probably has sweet tooth like Mr. Ajay.

Miss Krisha is expanding her vocabulary. Some of the latest words are

Ananya, gila, booa (Aka jhoola), tutu (aka ritu), tutita (aka suchita).

I have tried again and again, still she will never say Ajay. She tries all other words, lekin ajay nai bolegi.

Its fun. She also tries to say complete sentances. e.g. "mein jaayega". "bahar jaayega". "mujhe chahiye". "Nai chahiye". It is a test for us as well.. She makes hard efforts to convey her message and if we are not able to understand then it really frustrates her.

There are certain good things which I am observing. She observes. Its an extremely important quality a person can have. She may do anything in life, if she can learn by observation, she would definitely stand of being more successful.

All rite. Probably this is an indication of something. May be.. :)

When did it happen : Sometime in last 5 days.

Where did it happen : In our own society

Here is what happened.

Krisha is playing with her friends in the society. Typically all the people who are passing bye would say hello to all these lovely cute kids.

So it happens that Ms. Saroj Khan was having a stroll. She sees these kids playing and comes to say hello. She sees Krisha and extends her hand to say hello. Krisha, who always says hello to anyone, tells her “Nai Chahiye” . that means “you can keep your hello with you” :)

Blogging could get very boring at times. Sometimes so boring that next post is approximately after 1.5 years :).

Krisha is getting very naughty these days. She is also learning new words. I believe her frequency is one word/week. Now, I do not know whether that is fast enough or slow, I am enjoying this whole experience. Latest words that have added to her vocabulary are "nahi chahiye", "gila", "cheetah", "bye".

We have also started doing video conferencing with my mom and dad. I believe that this way she would not forget their faces. It also gives them something to look fwd to every evening.

I am also learning to be inventive these days. Every time she cries, I have to think of some new game to capture her attention. Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not.

She has also started to teach us. Whenever I forget to keep things in place (e.g. i keep my mobile on the sofa), she will pick it up and give it me. That essentially means that it was not at its place.

I have a question, how do you get to know what these kids want? Sometimes she just cries and whatever we try to do, nothing pacifies her.

Krisha celebrated her holi with quite enthusiasm. Well – she was ok as long as you are not painting her red and white or pink.. :)

Still, she ended up getting some colours on her face :)